On the Meaning of Life, Dying and Death
- by Bobby Sagra
Oh, that my steps might be steady,
keeping to the course you set;
Then I'd never have any regrets
in comparing my life with your counsel.
- Psalm 119:5-6
It is now the Fall Season and it is a beautiful time of the year.
My mind still ponders on the recent experience that happened in the facility for the elderly that my wife and I are working.
Last September 29, in the early afternoon, Don, one of our hospice patients gasped his last breath and passed on to the next life. At the moment of his death those present were his wife Joanne, the two attending nurses and myself doing the spiritual prayers and commendation of his soul to his Maker. It was a peaceful, quiet and calm dying for him, like a falling leaf in Autumn, his body settled on the ground of life and his soul soar back to the Author of creation.
The day before his death, I was able to cut his fingernails, my wife was able to give him something to eat for breakfast and I gave him his last sip of coffee. Few hours before his death, I was able to gave him a shave, cleaned him up and put on a new T-shirt and underwear. In short, we did everything to prepare him. He breathed his last at the very moment when I was saying the final prayers for him. His wife said to me later, "that is the last thing he has been waiting for." Now, what is left in the room he stayed for about one year is silence and emptiness and the still gentle breeze of the morning air. It was full moon during the night that Don passed away. I took some time to water our roses in front of the house and took a glance at the moon. My soul has found a rest in the contemplation that like the moon in its fullness, our lives on earth slowly ebbs away and loses its light in the cosmos when the moment comes.
Even without my saying it, my heart grieves whenever someone to whom I have been a part of passed on to the next life. The beauty and art of what my wife and I are doing here is that we take care of those who are at the brink of dying and consummation of their lives. Each day, we try to make them feel loved, cherished and cared for in a very special way. This is their last chance to make a breakthrough in what St. Elizabeth of the Trinity counseled, "Let yourself be loved." While being compensated fairly in doing this job, our greatest investment is along the spiritual lines of doing our task with love and special care, to give joy and satisfaction to these God's children waiting for their final hour on earth.
However small and humble is the task that we are doing, I tell my wife that the key is to see Jesus in the poor we serve and care for Him in each of the persons of these elderly Americans. It is in the gospel of St. Matthew, Chapter 25 on the account about the last judgment that Jesus was very clear and strong in saying that "Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of my least brethren, you did it to me." ( Mt. 25:40) My wife and I are glad that we are in the very site of the Kingdom of God where every day we serve the poor, the sick, the elderly and the dying as we lift them up out of the bed in the morning, bathe them, groom them,clothe them, give them something to eat and drink, entertain them and stay with them during the day, bring them to bed at night and cover their bodies with sheets and blankets. There is nothing great or grand in what we are doing because they are the usual ordinary things that most people in the Philippines and other poor Asian countries manage to do for their elderly at home. But here, while the poor economic situation is still trending, this is the job God has given us to do to earn our living and help our folks at home, but in the finding of the meaning and purpose of what we do, our eyes have a glimpse of heaven, our hearts have a treasured and lingering joy, our souls have found consolation in the peaceful, happy and contented faces of our residents.
Life is a series of confrontation of many realities, including old age and dying. While still younger, yet getting older too it is good to pause and reflect on what is really we are up to here on earth? As the cycle of life continues, as the seasons come and go, as the days keep adding up to our years, what is it that gives true joy and meaning. Maybe for some, the fulfillment of the American dream of having a good job, a decent house, a nice car and good standing in relationship with others are enough to arrive at the feeling of happiness and satisfaction. True success and contentment in life do not only lie in gaining whatever material gadgets to enjoy and be proud of, but it is giving and sharing one's life for others. There is a kernel of wisdom in the saying that, "it is not what you get that counts, it is what you give away, you keep what you give up." There is nothing wrong with becoming secure, comfortable and stable for that is the result of hard earned labor through the years, but if having acquired some kind of stability, one becomes indifferent and callous in being sensitive and responsive to love God's poor in our society, all the things we consider our possessions become only some sort of vanity and status, if not gloated selfishness and greed. In the Kingdom of God, the true heirs of heavenly home are those who while remaining poor and ordinary, their hearts are rich with loving and caring, their eyes are clear to see their neighbors' needs, their ears are happy to hear someone's voice crying out for help.
While wrestling for the answer to the question about life, dying and death, during that day that Don died in our residential care facility, I checked our calendar of biblical quotes and on September 29, lo and behold, these words are written:
"Unless a grain of wheat is buried in the ground, dead to the world, it is never any more than a grain of wheat. But if it is buried, it sprouts and reproduces itself many times over. In the same way, anyone who holds on to life just as it is destroys that life. But if you let it go, reckless in your love, you'll have it forever, real and eternal." (John 12:24-25)
Don gave up his last breath of life while I was ministering to him. As I contemplate on that moment now, he also ministered to my soul by the witness of his courage to give up his life and let it go. The asceticism of giving up something, or some place or some community or family or someone and letting the experience go is an experience of dying itself. The many series of giving up and letting go prepare each one of us for that moment of dying and giving up of our life. May God give us the wisdom today to treasure every moment and keep the spirit of giving up and letting go become a daily discipline, so that like Don, we can gain the courage to give up and let go in the end.
