My Idea of God

  

   Everything is God' expression of Himself as love.  My conception in the womb of my mother, my birth, my childhood, my young life, my adult life, every place, every person I came in contact with, every experience...is a manifestation in human form of that consistent thread, "God is love."
   Yes, for reasons beyond my own limited understanding, life has been unfair on few occasions, which left me with the mistaken feeling of being neglected and being improperly cared for and nurtured.  God, after all is a loving Father, a caring Mother in the vortex of my life.  My needs early on as a child were provided for and I grew up healthy and strong in a town deeply rooted in religion, intellectual pursuits and professionalism.  Out of the abundance of the love of God in my life, I have been blessed and gifted with intelligence, wit and talents for me to have all the coping up mechanisms to make it in real life irregardless of people, places and circumstances around me.
   God is truly love.  God is the flapping yellow butterfly, the singing bird of my awakening, the soaring eagle of my hopes and dreams.  God is the consolation and reprieve of my deepest hurts and pains, the sure and comforting refuge of my tiresome journey.  When I am having those moments when I am down and troubled and I need some help, God comes to me in many disguises.  I receive a letter of encouragement, get a phone call, get a visit from a friend, eat something to be happy about life a "halo-halo" (mixed fruits in ice), a beautiful view of the full moon or the red sunset, etc.  Through the many crossroads of  life, the expressions of the love of God I have the been blessed to experience were wonderful, colorful and amazing.  In my life now, God never ceases to amuse me.  God has brought me to many beautiful places around the world and in every place came along beautiful and wonderful friends and acquaintances. 
   In Italy, where I stayed for two good and exciting years, I have been given a new name, "Amato" which means beloved of God.  In this spiritual name I see the  purpose of my whole life, seeing my life in all the absurdity of the past, the joy of the present and promise of the future in the context of God loving me until the end.  Having received so much loved, I am glad to share God's love to others in every possible way.  Even the most painful of my experiences has been made holy in the covenant of God's love in my life.  My very breath, my very skin and color, my own personality is handcrafted in the very fine and subtle fabric of God's love.  What else can a Master Craftsman produce, if not a masterpiece for His delight and glory?
   Recently, my life has been full of the most pleasant surprises.  I got married to a very lovely and wonderful person.  I became a U.S. citizen in June,2010.  I was able to join a big international convention in San Antonio, Texas in July, 2010.  I was able to become an editor of an international newsletter called World Hello.  My wife and I got the opportunity to move to New Jersey and visit New York City and Atlantic City.  We became much closer in understanding and loving one another despite of unavoidable differences.  Each time we pray, our needs are met and new opportunities come alight.
   Today, I allow myself some quiet time to immerse once again in the depths and wonder of God's love.  I feel in a very real way the great rejuvenation of my inner being, a healing transformation of my manhood, a recurring relaxation of my mind and a prevailing serenity of spirit.  Deep within, besides some minor health issues I am happy and at peace.  I have found the One my soul was longing for in my heartfelt knowledge of the love of God.
   God's love is like a cascading waterfall when it comes to my life in many simple, unique and goose bumps moments.  It comes very real in times when I am able to give myself out of love to someone.  Once, when I was still a Benedictine monk I attended a Regional Charismatic Conference in Glorieta, New Mexico.  In that gathering I volunteered to work for children.  A nun was handling a teaching session and she asked the children if they celebrate their birthdays.  Everyone raised their hands except one boy of about ten years old.  At the end of the session there was a break and I saw the boy's mom with her boy.  I introduced myself to them and spent some time to talk with them.  I found out that the boy's father left them when he was still in the womb of his mom.  The mother asked me to explain to the boy how it happened.  I talked to the boy and told him how at a very young age I was taken away from my parents by my grandmother and I grew up without real parental supervision.  I told him, he was much luckier than I am because he has his mom always besides him.  In that moment, tears rolled down from our eyes as I embraced both the mother and the boy.  There are many other occasions in my life where I felt God is so close to me and also feel the joy and peace that surpasses understanding.  Love and joy come along each time I get out of myself to love another person.  God is no longer just an idea.  He comes fully alive and present in each work of love done and completed.
   

Night

   For some of us it is late afternoon, for some already it is night.

When the end comes, if there still remain some clear ray of 

consciousness, may we not be rebellious, remembering it is the

time when the natural man, as if in sleep, must return to the 

elements.  In that time may we feel the solace of them that 

journey home after their day of pleasant labor.

   But if there be nothing else after the night has come, and the

bright playlet of life in our brains is blotted out, yet would our

speechless dust be thankful that once it throbbed with life and 

love on the beautiful earth.

   Out there - clear sky, bright stars, and silence.

                                      - Max Ehrman
                                         A Desiderata of Faith
                                         A Collection of Religious poems

Personal Reflection/Insight: 

   The time just before sundown is a perfect moment to spend some quiet time of prayer and self examination.  It is a time to pray for gratitude for all that has been experienced during the day, for all that has been received from life and for all that has been offered in love and service to others.  It is really a moment of grace, joy and thanksgiving.  It is also a time to re assess one's life - its harmony of ideals and practical living, it's reasons for hopes, despair and courage.  It is a time to make some amends by accepting some mistakes done and a time to renew one's strength to carry on the burden of one's life responsibility and goal. In every moment of it as the shadows engulf the skyline, it is time for a deep contemplation into the very core of God's being - love.  Just being in that moment, allowing the last bright rays of the sun covers oneself with so much love and care from the Creator.  And when evening comes, to rest in the contemplation that night is only a prelude to another greater day ahead, that I can rest my heart and mind, knowing that "all will be well".

Thou Whom we call God

thou whom we call God

   Long has been the time since I spoke with Thee,

Thou whom we call God.  Now I soften the stern

face I carry upon the street as a weapon in the struggle

for existence, and I cast out of myself the evil of the

world, all possession, all malice; and I yield up my soul,

as a flower lifts its petals in the twilight of the morning.

   Unbind me from the things of the earth, and let me

through the world like the still stars of the night.

Come Thou near me, as in olden days when I saw Thee

everywhere, in the woods and the sky, and heard Thy voice

in the silence of the fields.  Take my hand and lead me

as my earthly father when my steps were feeble.

Teach me again to love, and make soft my voice with

gentle words.  As a gardener waters his garden,

refresh Thou my soul with tenderness, and bring peace

within the troubled household of my heart.  Knock at

my door in the lonesome night; and as I have need of Thee,

send me forth to others who sit with drooping faces 

at the table of despair and see Thee not.

   This prayer is born of my need; and if indeed 

men convince that Thou are not, and that these words

are spoken but to die unheard, yet have I been answered,

and shall believe that Thou art - Thou whom we call God!

                     - Taken from The Desiderata of Faith

                        A Collection of Religious Poems

                                 Max Ehrman

Personal Reflection:

   After the famous composition of Max Ehrman, the poem Desiderata this one, thou whom we call God comes along with furious portrayal of a soul in constant need of God, of His guidance and help in the ongoing journey of finding, knowing and loving Him to be his effective instrument to assuage the plight of those, "who sit with drooping faces at the table of despair and see Thee not."  In spiritual life as in making a journey through a strange land, one's soul is longing for a home, a familiar place, a place of peace and security, an environment of love and care.  This very home, this very place is in the heart at prayer with God.  Since time immemorial, God has been the solace of those in despair, the light of those in darkness, the joy of those in sadness and sorrow.  The matrix of today's society is mostly pointed to the outward appearance of things, images and profiles of people, dreams and aspirations of greatness, wealth and knowledge.  The true children of God remain unknown, poor, quiet, ordinary, yet they live lives of humility, greatness, heroism anchored in the very strength and power of the One they call God in the recesses of their hearts.  The challenge of the 21st century men and women is to find this God as the author Max Ehrman found Him in the brightness of the stars at night, in the flower lifting up its petals in the twilight of the morning, etc.  In this true essence of the mingling of poetry and prayer is found the true spirit and art of spiritual quest, asking God, "As a gardener waters his garden, refresh Thou my soul with tenderness, and bring peace within the troubled household of my heart."

Remember that Everything Has God's Fingerprints on It

Remember that Everything Has God's Fingerprints on It

   Rabbi Harold Kushner reminds us that everything that God has created is potentially holy.  Our task as humans is to find that holiness in what appear to be unholy situations.  He suggests that when we can learn to do this, we will have learned to nurture our souls.  It's easy to see God's beauty in a beautiful sunrise, a snow-capped mountain, the smile of a healthy child, or in ocean waves crashing on a sandy beach.  But we can learn to find holiness in seemingly ugly circumstances - difficult life lessons, a family tragedy, or a struggle for life?

   When our life is filled with the desire to see holiness in everyday things, something magical begins to happen.  A feeling of peace emerges.  We begin to see nurturing aspects of daily living that were previously hidden to us.  When we remember that everything has God's fingerprints on it, that alone makes it special.  If we remember this spiritual fact while we are dealing with a difficult person or struggling to pay our bills, it broadens our perspective.  It helps us to remember that God also created the person you are dealing with or that, despite your struggle to pay your bills, you are truly blessed to have all that you do.

   Somewhere in the back of our mind, try to remember that everything has God's fingerprints on it.  The fact that we can't see the beauty in something doesn't suggest that it's not there.  Rather, it suggests that we are not looking carefully enough or with a broad enough perspective to see it.

               - Taken from Don't Sweat the Small Stuff ... and it's all small stuff - By Richard Carlson, Ph.D.

Personal Reflection/Comments:

  

   Once in a while I try to put down my thoughts in writing after reading something out of a book I am reading for my daily meditation.  Sometimes, I feel it is good to write how I am touched by God through the writings of another person.  In life, fingerprints are usually invisible to the normal human eye unless one takes a closer microscopic view of something our fingers come in contact with.  If this is so true with us humans, how much more with God's fingerprints in the daily events and situations of our lives.  Honestly, I have moments when I cried out to God in the dark, and shouting out my incapacity to see His presence, most especially in the struggles and difficulties of my life.  It takes a little while before I can recognize God's fingerprints uncovered underneath the camouflage of pain or sorrow.  Yes, it is indeed true that it is much easier to see God's mark in the beauty of life that abounds.  However, one has to invest a lot of faith searching and prayerful  cruising before the heart can rest in the peace of God amidst the restlessness and confusion of the human condition.

   In my life story is contained the mysterious power of God's redeeming love.  In all its beauty and intermissions of pain, brokenness and illness, God's fingerprints made everything holy and ingredient for my spiritual growth.  I am fully aware today that I cannot take for granted my ongoing quest to see God's signature in every experience of my life.  When I was just a little boy I have a simple dream of living in a peaceful and quiet place abounding in beauty and abundance of God's delights.  In my real adult life I experienced quite the contrary.  I have been into situations I dared not even want to be, seeming hopeless ordeal of my human spirit, yet not without God's love and grace to save and bring me to a safe and secure dwelling place for my weary soul.

   The more I delve into life's realities and live through its mysteries, the more I discover and experience the giftedness of life, in all its stark reality of contradictions and unfathomable reasons and purposes.  But in the light of God's love, kindness and goodness, I am beginning to understand, all is well and everything is good, because God's fingerprints are always present.  My soul rejoices in God my savior, my heart sings a song of joy and thanksgiving to God for cuddling me like an infant as a mother cradles her baby.

The Last Supper Meal in the light of Intimacy, Service and Hospitality

This a personal reflection based on John 13:1-20, The Last Supper Meal

One of the common public worship services by the three major Christian Churches: Catholic, Orthodox and Anglican is the celebration of the Holy Eucharist or Holy Mass.

Here, I would like to share few significant points, which could be a basis for further reflection and sharing in a small group of Christians doing a Bible study.

The first thing that John wants us to reflect is that the whole of Christ's life and death is an expression of His special gratuitous self giving love for his disciples. "He had always loved those who were in the world, but now he showed how perfect his love was."(John 13:1 The New Jerusalem Bible). This means literally that since the time he called them up to the end, he has always loved them. This brings us to meditate on the call of Jesus to intimacy with him. In human experience, what does it mean to be intimate? I conceive intimacy as a home or an environment of a true maturing love between Jesus and his present day followers, between husbands and wives, among friends, among communities, etc. M. Scott Peck's definition of love is one that I am most convinced as a classic expression of what really love is. He defines love as "The will to extend one's self for the purpose of nurturing one's own or another's spiritual growth." In her National Bestseller book, "all about love" Bell Hooks built her idea on that and further said, "When we understand love as the will to nurture our own and another's spiritual growth, it becomes clear that we cannot claim to love if we are hurtful and abusive." She also said, "When we are loving we openly and honestly express care, affection, responsibility, respect, commitment and trust." For me, this is precisely the kind of intimacy that Jesus left as a perpetual legacy to his beloved disciples in that upper room of the Last Supper Meal on the night before he suffered and died. He gave us love's highest standard, that of giving up oneself for the sake of the beloved. "No greater love man has, than to offer his life for his friends."(John 15:13) Thus, intimacy is breaking through the barriers of personal differences, of time and space, of boundaries and cultures and simply being there to sincerely interfere, through the little and great acts of kindness and love, while allowing oneself to be also disturbed and challenged by the words and life of the one loved, for the sake of promoting spiritual growth, achieving mutual happiness and fulfillment, and like Christ, doing everything well in love.
This brings us now to the second important thing that John wants to drive at, i.e. humble service, "He got up from table, removed his outer garment and, taking a towel, wrapped it round his waist; he then poured water into a basin and began to wash the disciples' feet and wipe them with the towel he was wearing."(John 13:4-5) In the Jewish custom this gesture of Jesus is very symbolic of the humility of a slave serving his master. How can we do the same act of humble service. Maybe we can understand this by looking at the angle and feeling of the one who is served. When someone serves me as I order something to eat in a restaurant I feel superior to that person. The cliche', "The customer is always right" is often used to claim one's right and superiority in an ordinary human setting. Jesus revolutionized a change in this mentality. His kind of leadership is one of being always disposed to be of service, rather than being served. A further note I would like to look closer is the defiant attitude of Peter when Jesus approached him to wash his feet. To teach him a lesson in true discipleship, Jesus told him that if he persists in his denial of the Lord's service the consequence will be, "...you will have no share with me."(John 13:8) which is a Semitic phrase of cutting him off from any further relationship with the Lord and from all share in Jesus' ministry and in his glory, because he does not appreciate his Master's outlook. Behind the act and the reply that Jesus made to Peter, he explained that his sacrifice has already achieved the purification required in the Mosaic Law. "Every branch that does not bear fruit he prunes to make it bear even more. You are pruned already, by means of the word I have spoken to you."(John 15:2-3) Also we find another relevant text, "But if we live our lives in the light, as he is in the light, we are in union with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin."(1 John 1:7-8)
Lastly, the third and very important thing that John wants to stress is Hospitality. "I tell you most solemnly, whoever welcomes the one I send welcomes me, and whoever welcomes me welcomes the one who sent me."(John 13:20) By calling all his disciples to eat with him the Passover Meal just before he suffered the brutality of crucifixion, Jesus gave us all the core of the very heart of God, which is hospitality. I came from the Philippines, a country known by those who come to visit us a a country gifted with the gospel value of hospitality. In the different towns and cities around the Philippine archipelago, especially during the "Fiesta" celebration in honor of the Patron Saint of the town, all visitors are welcomed to eat in every home. Not only that the best food are put on the table but they are served both with smile and love from the Filipino host family. Here, in the very act of Jesus at the Last Supper Meal, hospitality is very much connected with intimacy and service. When I am intimate with someone, I also gladly welcome that person into my life and I am willing to offer the gift and the good that I have for that person in order to make the joy of fellowship complete. As a former Benedictine monk in Pecos, New Mexico, one of the best things I remember and still try to live is a tenet in the Rule of St. Benedict urging us to see the very person of Christ in every guest who comes to the monastery, which in itself is a practical application of the last supper admonition of Jesus. As we continue to live our christian life, the daily challenge is to make our hearts, our homes, our persons as the very sure place of the hospitality of the heart of Jesus - a heart pierced by the soldier's sword, yet a heart that continues to accept, to forgive, to love, to offer his very last drop of blood for each one of us.
In closing, we can ponder on the mysticism of love from the book, The Way of Love, The Last Meditation of Antony de Mello, "The symphony of life moves on but you keep looking back, clinging to a few bars of the melody, blocking your ears to the rest of the music, thereby producing disharmony and conflict between what life is offering you and what you are clinging to. Then comes the tension and anxiety which are the very death of love and the joyful freedom that love brings. For love and freedom are only found when one enjoys each note as it arises, then allows it to go, so as to be fully receptive to the notes that follow."

Sources of Joy and Strength

Do you know where to find
real sources of joy
and strength in life?
Have a drink
of a good cup of coffee
or tea
or talk a little walk
with your dog
why not take a bike ride
or simply sit on a meadow
life is not really for runners
but it is for those
who care to slow down
and read something worthwhile
to redirect the mind
to what is true, noble
and beautiful
prayer is a balm
for a tired and wounded spirit
eases everything
the art of breathing
normally, just being alive
and aware with poignant
unnotices life's moments
why not celebrate
the love in your heart
and be worthy of it
in its truest sense
love is the mystery
that keeps being unraveled
by simply loving
and being loved.